Articles
Sometimes We Just Need Bread
A leadership technique called the “sandwich method” is used to soften the blow of criticism and to enhance the receptivity of corrective communication. The idea is pretty simple. It calls for sandwiching criticism in between two affirmations, compliments, or praises. The practice is based on the belief that a person is more willing to accept correction for his mistakes if he is also made to feel appreciated for the things he has done right. Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics popularized and utilized the “feedback sandwich” throughout the 1980s.
I recently heard my good friend and co-worker, John Moore, describe this method. He noted that sometimes the tough stuff must sometimes be tucked in between two pieces of soft, fresh, delicious bread (vivid description, I know). But that got me to thinking – what if sometimes I just need the bread?! If you want to keep with the mealtime analogies, bread alone can be refreshing, appetizing, and filling. Who has ever really turned away rolls with cinnamon butter at Texas Roadhouse or refused the cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster? Sometimes we just need bread.
While criticism is both necessary and valid in many instances, praise and encouragement are also indispensable. Kind words of reassurance and support should not simply be a springboard for correction and disapproval. They should stand alone as expressions of the heart intended to help others see their value in the world and worth to their community. Sometimes we just need bread.
We all need to hear words that are “good for building up what is needed” (Ephesians 4:29). We all need to hear words that are saturated with “grace, seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6). We all need to hear words that bring healing and give life (Proverbs 12:18; 15:4). We all need to hear words that are apt and timely (Proverbs 15:23). Truly, words filled with grace, salt, life, and healing are “like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Sometimes we just need bread.
There is not a relationship where this principle is not true. Parents need words of encouragement. Children need to be built up in family discussions. Students need to hear someone say, “Good job” and teachers need to hear, “Thanks for the lesson.” Elders need to be verbally appreciated and church members need to be affirmed in personal conversation. Yes, we all need bread. In fact, sometimes bread is all we need.
